Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
