i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
