U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
