You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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