I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
