Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
