Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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