i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
