Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
