they need to just BURY HIM!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
