why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
