I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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