she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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