Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
