Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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