my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
