yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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