it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I feel great
I just peed on a car
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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