I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
