if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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