I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
