he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
