My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
