Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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