Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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