it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
