She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I think my moral compass just broke
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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