I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Randomize
