On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
