I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
