just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
