We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
