It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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