Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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