I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
