I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
