Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
