yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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