what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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