so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
