Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
