She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
