wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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