you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
