i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
