i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
