Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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