hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
