Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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