is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
That accounts for only three of the penises
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
