just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
