I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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