The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
