If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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